You Don't Really Love Me!!!

1 John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

     For many years, I have been thinking about the complete meaning of this verse. I have not been able to completely understand what "perfect love" truly was. And trying to figure out how it cast out fear was something I did not understand even more.

     I thought I understood what love was; after all, I had been married to a wonderful woman for almost 25 years and those were some pretty awesome years, even with all the problems she had with her illness. But I apparently did not have a complete idea of what God's love really was. I understood things like, "for God so loved the world" (John 3:16), but I still did not understand the reality of God's love.

     I haven't thought of this for verse for quite awhile, but as he so often does, recently God gave me a complete revelation of this verse at a very unexpected time.

     A few weeks ago, I was going about my usual morning routine and had just began ironing my chosen shirt for that day and this verse popped into my mind and I heard God speak into my heart, "The reason you don't understand this verse is because you don't really believe that I love you!"

     I was taken back for a moment, but recovered soon enough and I pondered that statement for a moment, then I came to realize how true it was. I never would have openly admitted it, but over the course of so many years of things going "wrong" in my life ... my wife's constant struggle with her illness, financial problems always being an issue, and a plethora of things that go "wrong" in life; I had come to believe that God didn't really love me. My mind would harbor thoughts like this, because "if He did really love me, all of these things would not have happened."

     In hind-sight, I'm sure it was the devil who planted that thought in my mind many years ago when I was too young of a Christian to be aware of that's where it came from. So, I spent many years believing that God didn't really love me and my spirit internalized that for a lot of years. What's more, fear was an ever present thing in my life as well.

     As I thought about what He had shown me, I kept coming back to the word "believe". The lack of belief that God truly loved me is what was keeping me from being "perfected" in His love. Not believing He truly loved me, kept me from experiencing His "perfect love".

Romans 10:10 says, "For with the heart one believes..." You see, we need to believe in our heart, deep down, that God loves us. It's not enough to simply believe it in our mind, it must be in our hearts.

     I believe there are two types of knowing. Knowing something in your mind and knowing something in your heart. You can change knowing to believing, if you like. Believing something in your mind is one thing, but believing it in your heart is quite another thing.

     Faith comes from our heart and with our heart we believe. So, now that I've come to this revelation, I'm striving every day to believe God truly loves me and wants only good for me. I still struggle with it, but there has been new found freedom in coming to realize this. May I continually grow in this knowledge.

Canoeing, Teamwork and Marriage

If you have never been canoeing, one thing you need to know is that it is an exercise in teamwork. It takes a lot of cooperation to keep a canoe going straight in the water. It also takes a lot of cooperation between the two rowers to negotiate a tight turn or narrow passage or rapid waters.

In addition to good teamwork, it takes a lot of commitment. If either rower gives up and does not do his/her part, the rowing effort becomes more difficult for the one who is left doing the rowing. The canoe is harder to turn; harder to get moving again from a standstill and also harder to keep going straight.

Teamwork in canoeing is not unlike the teamwork it takes to keep a good marriage moving ahead. Each spouse must take up his/her part of the teamwork and do what's necessary to keep the marriage going straight. If either slacks off or refuses to do his/her part, the couple will veer off course. They will not be able to navigate the tight twisting turns that life has and the marriage will eventually run aground to certain disaster.

While it is true we are all human and we make mistakes, we also must take responsibility for our actions or lack thereof, and make the corrections necessary to make the course corrections a marriage needs to be set aright.

God promises to direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5 & 6) and give us the direction we need to get things back on track. We only need to trust Him with all our heart, not lean on what we understand, and have the faith to follow what He directs us to do.